File Size: 73635 KB
Print Length: 154 pages
Publication Date: November 3, 2015
Sandra’s book Trading Locations: Becoming My Mother’s Mother: A Memoir takes you through Sandra’s activities as she cared daily for her much-loved but increasingly fragile elderly mother. Sandra encountered shifts in the parent/child relationship that were sometimes predictable and often unexpected. Her memoir lets the reader recognize some of the precise challenges she confronted while caring for an aging parent, but more powerfully, to also glimpse the depth of understanding that Sandra achieved during this once-in-a-lifetime experience.
“I was in the hospital with Mom, trying to relax for a few instances in a local waiting room, ” Sandra said. “To pass the time, I started jotting down some of the things my Mother often told us as we were growing up—‘You’ve had enough sugar today, ’ and ‘Yes, you have to go to the doctor, ’ for example. I call these ‘Mom-isms. ’ I concluded up with quite a list! ” As the years unfolded and Sandra’s mother needed more assistance, Sandra realized many of the ‘Mom-isms’ that Mrs. Bullock experienced taught her children applied now to concerns she needed to extend to her mother’s care.
“Mom had a high tolerance for pain and a low tolerance for fuss, ” Sandra recounted. “One of the challenges I faced was getting her to agree to see someone when I knew she needed medical help. Since she’d recently been so firm with us all, I simply reminded the woman what she had always taught us, which made things easier in ways. ”
Realizing that the basis her Mother had built for her children was also going to be the foundation for the woman to accept more care was the inspiration for the memoir. “I understood my mother would be more easily able to accept what I needed to tell her if I could offer the message in a familiar, loving way. Her ‘Mom-isms’ helped me do that, and I understood others could benefit from the things I learned. By saying, ‘But Mom, you always told us all that (fill in the blank), it was an easy way for her to understand the countless decisions—large and small—that we needed to make together. ”
Preserving dignity while providing needed care for an seniors person in fragile health can create dilemmas. This approach, along with gentle humor, helped her mother accept the assistance she needed. “I uncovered I experienced to help my mother understand that she didn’t really know what she didn’t know, ” explained Sandra. “My mother was so self-employed, so strong, and so self-sufficient, she just didn’t understand that she had reached the point where she needed help with daily functions. ” Sandra called on love and resourcefulness to help her Mother adapt as gently and delicately as possible.
In today’s Western society, few of us have the chance to be closely associated carefully of a mother or father in final life stages. Sandra’s book reveals the surprising gifts and discoveries she realized as part of that nurturing, nurturing experience. “Everyone should have to volunteer in a nursing home before they are forty, ” Sandra confided. “If we do, we’d be much more educated about what we will need before we need it. ”
Sandra’s book is a balm for individuals who have had similar encounters. “One person wrote me that she had experienced such guilt about whether she had done the right things on her behalf mother or father until she read my book. She could see that my activities and her were very similar, ” Sandra said. “To know this book helped even one individual to deal with the powerful connection with this process makes me very grateful. ”
Especially if you know someone who has struggled or happens to be working to care for anyone in delicate condition, this book might be a wonderful gift. See if you don’t find that several of Sandra’s ‘Mom-isms’ sound really familiar!, “ Life is like a camera. Just focus on what is important”….
This quotation on Sandra’s book reminded me to check “where is my camera concentrating on”. Life is too treasured to be out of focus!
This is such a beautiful and inspiring book about a mother and daughter’s love. Unfortunately I didn’t have a possiblity to care for my mother as she died young and I was living thousand kilometers away.
I highly recommend this book to anyone taking care of aging parents and wondering how you can turn this difficult task in and a loving and rewarding experience. Chapter 27 on “Lessons Learned” is priceless; we can always study from other’s experiences.
Sandra’s book hits the core of the human spirit! It required me emotionally to a place and time when I will need someone like Sandra to love and care for me like she did Mrs. Rebie Bullock.
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