Very good read for women stuck in these types of shallow associations. I'm still there but plan on getting out soon!, I found this guide to be written by someone who seems to have a lot of anger about her situation and therefore has been very dark-colored and white about the woman beliefs based on the woman terrible experiences. There were some interesting parts to this book, but I discovered other books more helpful from a psychological perspective., This really is ok., A very good book for almost any woman who is or was at this type of connection, Really helped me understand!, There are certain to be some things in this guide which also apply to straight men, but for any woman who is " wondering" and trying to figure out what is wrong with her marriage, it might help her get to the truth. We was married for 20 years, with not just a hint that my (now ex) husband was gay, but I did know that something wasn't right and went looking for signs of an affair a few times, but of course I never found anything because I was looking for the incorrect thing. " Gay Husband" is an oxymoron - both words do not belong collectively. We now reside in a society which accepts LGBT people as normal, and there is NO justification for them to hide behind a straight person, instead of being true to themselves. I possess no issue with homosexuals, provided they aren't failing to be heterosexuals, as the damage they do, not only to themselves, but to their straight spouses (and children) is irreparable. Women/men who suspect or find out their husband/wife is gay receive little or no support or understanding, while their gay partner, after coming out, immediately taps into a vast well of support, and a life which they have been craving. Very good for them, but may vilify the spouse put aside to pick up the pieces., The best part about this author is the fact the girl helps all of the woman straight wives through a rough time of finding their spouse is gay. About 99% of the women who find themselves thrust, nearly all of the time deliberately by a gay man that is in denial and will remarry another woman and create more children (even after knowing, yet denying the deep pain, trauma and torture he or she knowingly inflicted in the wife), sometimes inflicted by an innocent gay man who will never repeat offend and is truly remorseful (not as common, but does exist). Most of the straight wives in these marriages were the LEAST stereotyping and judging spirits this world owns, making them PERFECT targets for a closeted gay man who wants to mistreatment a woman by lying down about his own identity and nagging doubts about his sexuality. These women are compassionate and frequently overlook these clear red flags for years and decades and interim lose their own sense of self and do it yourself worth. It is now just like huge of a battle for the right wife because now SHE is closeted and does not even know it. The majority of straight spouses, including this author have spent many hours being honest and open in their marital life while the closeted spouse lied to you, gaslighted and made sure to belittle the lady and further break the communication down. The closeted gays(i think they are sick) goal is to STAY married to a WOMAN, as evidenced by their high incidence of remarriage to another woman. Bonnie does a great job of showing woman the red flags in a way they can seem sensible of the lies make the parts of the puzzle again together in a slow lifelong healing process (many straight wives were hitched to closed gays at least 40% of their lives when they understand they have been tricked). Bonnie Kaye is the most compassionate woman towards gays and adamant about helping straight wives in initial shock understand that even though they may undergo a phase they FEEL (for the first time ever) gay is the enemy, because it is hard to accept there is nothing she can do short of becoming a man to save the woman marriage and family the girl cherished together future dreams for, that gay is not the enemy. Bonnie makes a CLEAR and unbudging attitude in all of her publications, such as this great book, and writings that there is a huge difference in honest open gays(i think they are sick) and abusive, lying and closeted gay men. The particular more awareness this world has for the other side of this concern, the straight spouses, the more people can come to acceptance of gays(i think they are sick) who at open and honest. Bonnie has helped many of her right spouses through this publication while others gain compassion for the gay men who are honest and focuses on the gravity of a sad social judgment in our world triggering a great deal pain. The issues she brings up in the woman book aren't made as blanket statements to cover all gay people, but some closeted gay men. This is to help straight wives feel authenticated, supported and enlightened so they can heal. Regrettably many straight wives and others in society have a hard time believing the truth, because days gone by 6 generations would NEVER have imagined a gay man would EVER marry a WOMAN, or that the woman wouldn't see the signs (stereotype). Bonnie helps straight spouses realize how common many of these signs are that we often overlook out there of faith, compassion or denial. Never once did I get a experience she was stereotyping, but instead helping only right wives seem sensible of is situated. She is careful to not include honest gay people in any of her writings, including this book. As a result of reading this book I have gained a compassion for this sad situation in modern society, an awareness for all who are harmed (not just the narcissistic gay in denial and using women, but additionally him) and have an increased knowing of the need for acceptance of gays in society. Give thanks to you, Bonnie K aye for bringing awareness to the delicate balance of helping raise awareness for ALL the victims in this unfortunate situation, especially the children. The wives and children deserve freedom and the closeted gay deserved to be positioned in a situation he can no extended be enabled to make such unhealthy judgements for himself, his straight husband and wife and his children. Most of us deserve to know our traditional selves, and each others in a family. It is impossible to do when one person is too terrified, self-centered, and cowardly to inform the truth, even while their family directly confronts them. Bonnie's books like this one will help a straight spouse know very well what she needs to do to take ownership and her own power back., Only women who have been through this horrendous experience understand it. The men who may have made hate-filled comments here and accused Bonnie and other straight wives of homophobia don't know very well what they're discussing about. These closeted men choose women who are not homophobes as then they worry less about being 'exposed' when they actually get found out. Most of us women then go into their closet and protect their false facades for years. My ex is a manipulative, fraudulent and cowardly narcissist. He hitched me realizing that he wanted sex with men and had had activities with men before he fulfilled me. He hid all of this from me and gradually turned my life into a unhappy place with his blaming of me for each and every little thing that went wrong. Really he was blaming me for the truth that he was gay - something that was determined in his single mother's womb. And I had no idea. He acted through our whole marriage and he twisted and contorted my life and that of the youngsters we had together. He tricked me into sex. I never would have agreed to experienced sex with a gay man, so each time he had sex with me he was violating me and my soul. The children and I are deeply scarred by what he did to us all and after this have to try and work out the way to get through this emotional stress. When I found out there I made him leave and guess what? He's received himself a boyfriend! Isn't very that lovely? We're left trying to seem sensible of all the lies and nastiness and he's received himself a boyfriend! Whoopee! Exactly what a hero!
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